Lust or Love? Only He Knows

Just in this morning after waking up, I headed directly towards our hall to pick up my favorite Hindu newspaper. Though I am lazy, I spend some time in getting myself acquainted with the world. After reading regular politics and movies, I couldn’t take my eyes off one particular news item on the last page of main edition. You know what it is? - “Court: Having sex when there is intention to marry is not rape”. That court was Supreme Court of India and I could be spotted one among many who hailed this judgement without second thought.

Let me put forth some points from that judgement.

1. If a girl engages in sexual intercourse with her bf on a promise to get married and later finds him reneging on his promise doesn’t entitle her to file a rape case against him.

2. A girl can be matured enough to foresee the consequences of not getting married by any chance and act cautiously.

3. A girl having consensual sex with her bf might be outcome of her love for him or uncontrollability of their emotions but not necessarily mean to get married.

4. A guy can’t fulfill his promise under certain circumstances though he is completely willing to marry her.

This may completely look misogynistic but that can be dismissed by one point in judgement-

“An accused can be convicted for rape only if the court reaches a conclusion that the intention of the accused was mala fide, and that he had clandestine motives.”

The above statement looks funny to me as it can never be proved that a guy had sex with an intention of satisfying his lust. One always maintains that he really loves her and can’t marry because of unforeseen reasons. Many of my friends must have known this ;-)

 

Keeping the judgement apart for a while, one must know that there are no real girls who go to court for getting exploited when in relationship. In fact, girls (not all) have become so open-minded that they took premarital sex as simple as eating pizza and playing tennis as was told in a Hollywood movie. Though having sex before marriage looked as simple as I told, it creates unnecessary problems to both parties. I, being confused with this aspect, will never oppose or support premarital sex.

Coming back to our SC judgement, there are three ways of taking this landmark judgement.

1. One group takes it as a restraint: Girls can have sex with their partners before marriage but should keep mum once they come to know that their marriage was a mirage.

2. Another group takes it as an advisory: Girls should refrain from premarital sex and do not fall prey to cheating and misguidance.

3. There is always a third group which takes it as an offer: Indian youth are allowed to have premarital sex extensively until both girl and boy are happy and can opt out of marriage if they have issues.

Being a great admirer of Supreme Court, I believe its decision doesn’t intend to develop view#1 or view#3 among Indian youth but to throw view#2 as it strives for women safety with dignity.

Open Eyes by Closing Ears

Around 10 years back when I was in higher school, there was one question posed to me very frequently by my friends, relatives and teachers as well. “What do you want to become in the future?” Much before I utter anything they themselves answered, “What else! You are good at mathematics, so will become an engineer.” I felt very happy J as if I had already become an engineer and asked everyone I came across as to what would an engineer do. I received only one answer that an engineer builds buildings. Since then I promised everyone that I would build a house for them once I become an engineer. I had no second thought as my career option.

With the same spirit, I secured 100% in maths in 10^th and Intermediate. Only after getting a good rank in CET, I came to know that there were many engineering branches out of which civil engineering (that will make me deliver on my promise) is one. The same people who misled me 4 years back have got matured a bit (like I did) and urged me to take ECE as it had huge demand in the market. Thought with my immature mind, I decided to go for ECE and developed interest towards it. My 2^nd misconception about my career happened there when I thought that I would become a scientist and launch PSLVs sitting with Madhavan Nair (former ISRO chairman).

Moving towards that goal, I assumed that I would get required skills from knowledgeable professors of my alma mater. But that remained an assumption instead of turning into reality. The reason being the conviction of our professors that their students don’t expect anything from them but marks. The result is well-known to you that my dream vehicles had landed in the ocean without launching any satellites. L

Again, around 5 years back from now when I was in my 2^nd year B.Tech, there was one question posed to me very frequently by none other than my seniors. “What do you want to become in the future?” Much before I utter anything they themselves answered, “What else! You are doing B.Tech, so will write GATE.” Immediately I sensed that I was gonna become a fool again as I had already been a victim of societal misguidance. I didn’t want to fall prey to those mindless advices again. So I decided to take a completely different path which was of my real interest. Then surfaced this MBA ambition which needed exactly those skills (commonsense, logic, communication, ethics and social responsibility etc.) that, I believed, require lesser teacher’s interaction but more self-interaction. That is the time, during my CAT preparation, I found the value of interacting with oneself.

I don’t rule out the fact that I was/am still getting unsolicited advices regarding my career to try for a govt. job, write IAS, go for MS and even to get settled with s/w jobL. I really don’t want to make the mistake again by listening to people instead of listening to myself even after 24 years of my experience with the world. According to me, one knows what does one want. People deviate from their interests not just because they are clueless of their goals, but also because they lack courage to pursue their goals. Maybe, this worthy quote by an unpopular American writer ignites lot of our minds - “Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.”  

P.S: I deliberately avoided discussing my IT career as it deserves a separate post ;)

Manoj: Synonym for Laziness

It is my habit to open my blog now and then, redesign it, add some color to it, feel happy and then close it. I have never written a single line in it. And today, just came from Bangalore and came to office almost immediately getting down the train. Frenzied, I opened my good old blog once and found my lost charm on my blogger pic. Also found that the status as 'On blogger since February 2011'. OMGGGGG!!! It was exactly 2 years back when I enthusiastically created an account on blogger but left it after adding some details to it. I have been simply procrastinating to blog for 2 long years and here shows the height of my laziness.

I was being called ‘Lazy Manoj’ by some of my B.Tech friends but never understood that they were belittling my laziness by simply calling ‘Lazy’. Even the word ‘Lazy’ feels shameful of being tagged to my nameL. It’s not one day, one activity but I carried that tag throughout my life. I didn’t learn a lesson when I first missed the train just because of my laziness and missed the same train to Bangalore again 10 days back. Still, I am not confident that I learnt a lesson. When it comes to minor incidents, there are many days when I missed 1^st half an hour of my favorite movies, didn’t wash clothes for weeks and sometimes my unshaven beard symbolized the amount of my laziness. I am not in those people who feel offended by the quote, “Laziness never arrived at the attainment of a good wish” but in those people who feel elated by Bill Gates’ words, “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” :P

I may bore you by telling my lazy story even lazily but I am hoping that your scathing comments (after reading it) will surely bring some change in me. As my friends, it is your responsibility and right to slap on my face and counsel, “Idiot! This is not the right attitude with which you can achieve something. See me and learn” (#LOL only if you achieved anything).

P.S: Persons will be awarded accordingly if they manage to bring any change in my attitude.